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If both partners have that quality of kindness it’s one of the greatest forecasters of a healthy relationship.

So, if the two of you were falling head of over heels, that’s glorious and wonderful, but be aware of who that person is, be aware of what your attraction is made of.

Obviously how online dating works determines the results people get.

Page: I would certainly not say that it’s a bad tool and I would say in many ways it’s an incredibly valuable tool.

Today more than half of American adults are single. The Psychology of Online Dating Reed Pence: Americans are getting married later than ever – the average is age 27 for women and 29 for men.

Pence: That’s nothing like meeting somebody in person.And what I found is, the ways we search for love really determine the kind of love we find. We search expecting instant attraction and if it doesn’t happen then he or she must not be “the one.” Page: People are presented with these kind of, misty eyed over romanticized images of what love looks like and what love should look like – falling in love at first glance, these passionate sort of immediate experiences of just deeply falling in love and people measure themselves against these kind of over romanticized notions.Pence: It’s not that falling in love head over heels doesn’t happen – it does, and Page says it can be a storybook romance.Page: But, our culture teaches us that that’s the only way real love gets found and that’s very untrue.Because that can happen, but that immediate head over heels experience is not the best indicator of the success of a long-term relationship, the best indication, and this is actually really interesting, the single factor that is the greatest indicator of success and happiness in a relationship is one quality and that quality is – kindness.

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